Make this soba noodle bowl with miso tahini sauce when you’re hungry
but only have about 20 minutes to make dinner.
Sometimes I treat this blog more like a diary than a food blog, but I think that’s just how I cope. I’ve always written out my feelings, and that’s what I’m going to do today.
Maybe it’s a combination of the dreary weather, the excessive hours I spend alone working, my damaged self-esteem because of my recent aggravated skin problems, or just my mental health in general, but the past year or so I’ve had troubles even wanting to get out of bed. Maybe it’s depression, maybe it’s a lack of energy, I don’t know. I know my mom would smack me and tell me to go do something because nothing is going to get solved by staying in bed. I have friends who would encourage me to get help. I know that I’m the type of person that needs to set goals and deadlines or else I’ll never feel the motivation to do them.
I’ve spent so much time alone reflecting and wondering what the hell happened to me. I used to be the person who would wake up and jump out of bed, do the things that need to get done, work hard, play hard, then come home and pass out once I hit the pillow,Â only to wake up and do it all over again.
And it’s not because I don’t have things I’m motivated to do. I want to do the work I have. I want to cook food. I want to take photos. I want to meet new people and try new things. But for some reason, I just can’t.
After countless years I’ve spent working towards mental health awareness among the student population at my university and being understanding of my friends who’ve gone through depression, I never thought it would happen to me. I never thought the only thing that would drive me to get through the day is the thought of stepping out of the shower, steamy and clean.
I know, it’s a very weird thing to look forward to, but it’s sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day. A shower, fresh clothes, and deodorant. That’s all I can muster on the days when I spent the entire time in my apartment, watching episodes of a show I don’t really like and eating nothing unless there’s something already in the fridge. I’ve scraped together this soba noodle bowl because it took less than 20 minutes, one pot, one bowl, and it had nutrients I know I need.
Iron, calcium, vitamin C, probiotics, carbs, protein.
I’m stuck between this limbo of not knowing what’s wrong with me and knowing I need help.
I know the person I am right now is not me. Me is fiercely independent. Me is a perfectionist, and highly efficient. Me is dependable and reliable.
I am none of those things right now. And I hate it. I just want to be me again.
This is not a call for help. It’s not a call for pity. This is just me trying to find myself again.
- 1 tsp white miso paste
- 1 tsp tahini
- 1 tbsp lemon juice
- 1 tsp olive oil
- 1 tbsp tamari or soy sauce
- 1 serving of soba noodles
- 4-6 bulbs bok choy, cleaned and separated
- 1/2 tsp sesame seeds
- To make the sauce, mix miso paste, tahini, lemon juice, olive oil, and tamari until smooth. Set aside.
- Bring a pot to a boil. Add soba noodles and cook until just done. Add bok choy and cook until noodles are completely cooked and bok choy is bright green.
- Drain noodles and bok choy, then transfer to a bowl. Mix with sauce and sprinkle sesame seeds on top to garnish!
NOTE: If you are making this gluten-free, ensure that the soba noodles are pure buckwheat noodles made in a facility that doesn't process gluten, and that you use tamari or a gluten-free soy sauce.